Hope for Overwhelmed Mamas – From a Work-at-home Mom of Three

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Hope for overwhelmed mamas from a work at home mom of three

I know a post on hope for overwhelmed mamas isn’t my normal content, but over the past few weeks I’ve had some messages over on Instagram from moms, asking questions like “how do you get so much done?” And “how do you keep your house so clean with little kids?”

I ended up having wonderful conversions with these women and I hope that I was able to encourage them, but it really got me thinking. So, I decided to write a blog post! I have written posts on motherhood before, but it has been a while and my hope is that this post will encourage many more.

Moms today have something in their lives that no generation before them has ever had – social media. I can’t help but think about my own mom and what her life was like with young babies. 

My Dad accepted a job as a youth pastor in Connecticut, 900 miles away from home. There was no texting, no calling Mommy every day (long distance calls were expensive). My Mom was completely isolated and really all alone. They didn’t even have cable tv, so evenings were spent playing board games and shocker – actually talking to one another. Can you imagine?

I’m being a little silly, but my Mom tells me all the time that the run down apartment that her and my Dad shared was far from perfect. But she made the best of it, and it was enough. 

Today, young moms carry something with them 24/7 that we can’t even imagine living life without – our phones. And while I love to be able to text my Mom who lives right down the street, or my Grandma who lives hundreds of miles away, phones can quickly rob us of our joy if we aren’t careful. 

It is so easy to look at someone on social media and assume that their life is better than ours, and I honestly think it’s making life so much harder for young moms because we *think* we have it so much worse, we *think* we will never be as good as her, we *think* we must be failing because our homes don’t look a certain way. 

So today I want to share some encouragement with you as well as a few tips I have for how I do get things done and keep my house SOMEwhat tidy but definitely not perfect. First, let me encourage you with these thoughts –

1. There are Different Seasons of Motherhood

So many times young moms reach out and say “how do you get so much done with three? I only have one and I can barely keep it together!”

There are different seasons of motherhood. 

Every single year that you are a mom, life will look different. Some years will be extremely hard. Other years will be easier. 

Boy mom with outside play getting dirty, hope for overwhelmed mamas

I remember how overwhelmed I was when I had Ethan, my first born. I was a bit of a perfectionist, a type A personality. Having a new baby was HARD for me. My life had completely changed, and getting used to that was difficult for me to say the least. 

I remember saying things like “I’ll never sleep again!” And being so frustrated that I could “never get stuff done.” 

But as you have more children (at least this was true for me) the expectation is different. You know there will be hard times, but you also know how quickly those times fly by. You know there will be sleepless nights, but you also know that “this too shall pass.” 

And as your older kids get older, they become less dependent on Mommy. 

SO young mama…if you have one or two and you’re comparing your life to a Mom with 4, 5 or 6 and wondering how she makes it look so easy, please remember that you are in a completely different stage than she is in. 

You can read more about this topic here.

2. Don’t Compare Yourself to Other Moms

So…what if there IS another Mom in your life (or on social media) who DOES have the same number of kids that you do and somehow she STILL makes it look easy? 

Don’t even go there! 

The Bible tells us that comparing ourselves to others is not wise. You have NO idea what her life is like. Her kids could be different, her schedule could look different, she may even have outside help! 

You really have no idea. Comparison will only rob you of your joy and make you question everyone and everything around you. 

3. NO ONE is Perfect

I know we all know this, but it’s important to remind ourselves of it daily. My life is NOT perfect! No one’s is! My Instagram or Facebook “feed” might be pretty but if you really want to see the mess, start watching my stories. 

Kitchens get messy. Boys get dirty. And toilets get so, so gross. 

Boy mom with boy playing outside on playground laughing and having fun

The last thing I ever want to do on my blog is make anyone feel less then or not good enough. I want to encourage and lift up and love other women, not make them feel discouraged. 

So please know that everyone you see on social media has issues. Marital issues, parenting issues, mental issues….haha honestly though. It’s true. You may never know the battles and struggles that some face. 

Some Tips for Overwhelmed Moms 

So now that I’ve done my best to encourage you, I want to leave you with some tips that have helped me over the years as a work-at-home mom with three young boys. 

1. Focus on Keeping the Main Rooms Tidy

For my own sanity, my “domain” aka the living room, dining room and kitchen have to remain tidy. That means every night before bed we do a quick cleanup and the boys help. 

I keep an ottoman in the living room where we can chuck toys and it makes cleanup fast and easy. 

If the main rooms of our home stay clean, I can breath at night even though the boys’ bedrooms look like a bomb went off, hah! 

Then, every couple of weeks, I will tackle their rooms. I have them help me, and we go through each area together and organize toys as well as declutter. Obviously I have them clean their room more often, but their version of clean isn’t always the same as mine, and that’s okay. 

There’s no way I can spend hours every day cleaning up their bedroom and trying to make them perfect. My boys are little and toys are meant to be played with. As they grow older, I will expect more of them but for now, it will be okay.

I wrote a whole post about keeping a tidy house with toddlers if you’d like to check it out here!

2. Develop a Rhythm 

Kids really thrive when they know what to expect. I’m not saying life will always be perfectly scheduled, but do your best to develop a rhythm so that life is easier for you. 

I really try to rise early and have coffee before my boys ever wake up. It doesn’t always happen, believe me. Especially when they are babies. 

But do your best to create a rhythm for your kids so that you aren’t frustrated and they aren’t upset when you explain what’s happening next. 

We have something called “quiet time” every afternoon where my youngest naps and my older boys read and write quietly in their bedrooms. It gives Mommy time to get some work done, and my boys expect it daily.

On of my boys playing outside with tools getting dirty

If you’re looking for different ways to keep your kids busy (other than screen time) I have a whole post about that here.

3. Rest in Knowing that God Sees You

This is the last point I want to leave you with that I hope will give you hope as overwhelmed mamas. You may feel alone, exhausted, and defeated. But God sees, and He knows. Rest in knowing that He is there to meet you where you are. When we are weak, He is made strong. 

Do your very best, but trust Him with the rest. Give your days to Him. Tell Him how exhausted you are and ask for His strength and power to help you. He loves you so much, and He wants you to call His name. 

There is no way on earth I could get through motherhood without the Lord. He has carried me through the hardest of days (and nights) and I’m so thankful for His constant love and comfort.

Sweet mamas, I hope and pray this post was an encouragement to you. If it was, will you let me know in the comments below? Thanks for reading and please know that I’m praying for you today!

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Hope for overwhelmed moms

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11 Comments

  1. This was beautifully written Andrea! I’m in your same boat, and have a very similar story, it’s messy and no day is perfect but it’s the small moments we treasure and often share on here because they make us smile so we naturally want to share it with others. This is a hard gig but we must see the beauty too, thank you for being here and sharing with us!

  2. This is exactly what I needed at this stage of my life as a new momma of a 1 year old! I constantly compare myself to other moms with more children and wonder how they do it and wonder how can I even manage more children. I will probably watch this video a million more times this year as a good reminder!

  3. Even now I sit here at 1 am trying to work on my blog/website on bluehost and feel so very overwhelmed with all the things I don’t know and need to learn. I’m a mom of 5 and we homeschool, my husband is a special education teacher and he’s in graduate school. I haven’t found an easy season yet lol… that being said, I know not every age will feel like survival. That first year is ultimately the hardest when you add another life into the puzzle. Everyone has to learn to live life a little differently to accommodate. But one thing I know for certain is Moms do not take enough for themselves as a rule. We must find a way to create a haven for ourselves. Like you, I have an area I consider my domain. Right now, my youngest is 1, so if I can just keep the kitchen up… I try to feel good about myself. But one day my baby won’t be a baby anymore and I know I’ll miss that more than I’ll appreciate a clean house. I have to remember that too. Thanks for this post!

    1. Oh my goodness, you definitely have your hands full momma! Thank you so much for opening up and sharing your heart with me. It was so encouraging to read! Praying for you!

  4. I just have to tell you this post came at just the right time for me! I too am a Mom of 3 littles and I appreciate you sharing your heart with us…it’s so encouraging to hear these words. How easy it it to fall into the “comparison trap” yet these heartfelt reminders you shared are just what we Moms need! Thank you! Thank you! Now I will dry my eyes and go cuddle with those precious little for a while!

  5. I miss those “hard” years and having a messy house. I miss the laughter, arguing and even the crying of my girls. They’re 21 and twins are 18. Now, I still find joy just sitting around with them and having conversations. Easier years but not taken for granted. We have some special needs and working on Activities of Daily living and how to become independent during their college years still bring fun. I stopped comparing myself to other moms early on because our lives are so different from others. We found joy in our little family of 5. I almost lost 1 of my twins 2 years ago to cardiac arrest and at that moment of not knowing, I realized that what really mattered were the memories we created and the hugs we gave each other, not the messy home I had, school grades or anything that people brag about, but those moments when I held her in my arms and heard her tell me she loved me. That is what we as moms should focus on…love, happiness and beautiful memories.

    1. Wow, what a beautiful story! Thank you so much for sharing this with me! I pray your daughter is healing well. Twins would definitely be a unique situation too, thank you again for sharing and your sweet words of encouragement to me!

  6. Andrea,
    Wow! What a wonderful, blessed post! I needed this today! I had a phone call today from a mother who called hurting terribly. I was shocked to learn her son had passed away. I considered him a friend of mine. This young man had 2 sons of his own. As you stated, things can look so perfect on the outside, but we do not know what anyone is going through. As a mother of 2 sons, 20 & 16 years old). I cannot imagine! I do know as you stated, we cannot get through anything without our loving father God! I am praying for continued blessing for you and your post. As my mother always told me you never know how your words or actions are affecting people. You are a shining light and I enjoy your posts so much!

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