Sharing My Heart and Facing My Fears – Again

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Homemaking has to be done on purpose

Today I’m sharing my heart with you as I navigate some of the thoughts and feelings I’ve had since baby Isaiah’s arrival.

There are so many things that have changed in my life since starting my blog. Not only has it been a wonderful creative outlet for me, but through it I’ve developed life-long friendships, a source of income for our family, and amazing relationships with brands I love. 

More than anything else though, my blog has challenged me to face some of my greatest fears. People often tell me that I’m “a natural on camera” – that getting on Instagram stories “seems so easy for you.” 

Sharing my heart cottage style home living room with new baby boy

Do you want to know a secret? I am a self-conscious introvert that cares way too much about what people think. 

Starting an Instagram account, a blog, and then a YouTube channel (seriously, HOW do I have a YouTube channel?!) were some of the scariest things I have EVER done. 

Selling my artwork when I had no professional training? SCARY. 

Creating a blog course so that I could teach other mamas how to monetize their blogs? SUPER scary. 

Yet, over and over again God continually calls me to another scary thing. 

To step out on faith, no matter how big the waves are. 

Today was my husband’s first day back at work since having our fourth baby boy. I was so blessed to have him home with me for two weeks after my c-section, and I don’t even know how I would have recovered without him. 

Early this morning he hugged me goodbye, and we could barely see each other in our dark bedroom. I was holding back tears, and somehow he knew. “Don’t cry Andrea. Everything will be okay.”

He was right – everything was okay. In fact, it was more than okay.

Motherhood as a boy mom and blogger

I managed to tidy up the house, clean the kitchen, organize the boys’ bedroom closet and do a load of laundry. It felt good to get back to what I love most – homemaking. 

We even had bacon and eggs for breakfast with a delicious apple, kiwi and orange salad brightened up with lime juice. 

I was in my element today, talking to the Lord constantly and asking Him for strength each step of the way. Stopping every two hours to nurse (God’s wonderful way of forcing me to sit and rest every now and then), yet finding so much joy in creating home. 

The only problem? In the back of my mind I couldn’t help but worry about my blog.

 “What am I going to blog about this week? Everyone is sharing fall decor. I have’t even thought about fall. We start homeschool next week. Am I going to have time for homemaking, YouTube, homeschool, and a newborn? How am I going to get it all done?”

Whenever I have those thoughts, I feel like throwing in the towel. 

Wouldn’t it be nice to bake a delicious loaf of bread, just for the simple act of presenting it to your husband when he comes home from work? To redecorate a space, just for the joy of creating? To clean out a closet, just in order to serve your family better?

Bread baking in cottage style kitchen

Not for sharing on Instagram or for creating blog content. But just because

Because I want to be in the moment without feeling the pressure to share every moment of my life. 

But deep down I know that this is where God wants me, and that somehow, through my blog, He will use me.

In this new stage of life with a newborn, I want to navigate this season with grace and be creative with both how and what I share. I don’t want to look back at these days with regret, putting too much pressure on myself to “keep up” or “bounce back.” 

I want to savor this time, enjoy those little newborn squeaks and cries, and not worry about being good enough. 

That might mean that my blog content looks a bit different for a little while. YouTube videos might be more casual. And for me, that feels scary. 

But just like my husband told me this morning – everything will be okay. 

I am reading The Life-giving Home by Sally and Sarah Clarkson, and I love this quote by Sally. 

Sharing my heart and encouragement from reading

The vision of home as a place to flourish and grow fully into healthy persons has too often been lost in the busyness, distraction, and brokenness of both our secular and our Christian cultures. 

As a result, in so many ways, we have become a homeless generation. 

I don’t ever want my family to feel like they are getting the leftovers. 

“Every wise woman buildeth her house…” Proverbs 14:1

I’m so thankful for all of you, for the way you support and encourage me, and especially for the way you pray for me. Bear with me as I navigate this special season friends. Sharing my heart with all of you is one of my favorite things to do.

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23 Comments

  1. My dear, after viewing your September 1st blog I can tell you that you are suffering from extreme hormonal anxiety. Years ago I had 2 different caesarean births. I can tell you that I was depressed and confused & everytime my husband looked at me I burst into tears. Please do not do anything rash concerning your wonderful blogs and decor advice. Take time away & clear your mind. Enjoy your family & beautiful new baby. But, please come back..we all love & need you, Andrea, but only when you are ready. Remember, caesarean births are major surgery & wreaks havoc upon your entire body..it will become a distant memory in time. God Bless you for sharing your life so unselfishly with all of us. 😘💕

    1. Thank you so much, but I promise I am looking after myself and my family and have no intention of letting my blog go. I just wanted you all to know that it might look different for a bit.

  2. Dear One,
    You are enough.
    Your blog is an activity and it is lovely but it must not take away from nourishing your beautiful self. Take whatever time you need to be with yourself and your family.
    You are loved.

  3. Precious girl, take your time and be patient with yourself. You already know God has got this!
    We will still be here cheering you on, praying over you and most of all welcoming you into our lives regardless of how often you choose to post!
    Peace, love and prayers to you and your family.
    Susan

  4. I believe what your loving husband said, “everything will be alright” . I feel you sincerely wish to hear the Lord’s word in your heart, as long as you focus on this – “everything will be alright” .
    Deep Peace and Abundant Love to you and your family.

  5. Andrea,
    I adore your blog and videos. Honestly I swipe other notifications away of different people I follow but I always open yours. You are a positive light when this world seems so dim. It’s okay to be yourself and just be with your family. I see so many blogs with materialistic views. Sometimes I wonder how they can fit all these items in their houses. I love thrifting and I find beauty in the simple things. Sending you love and light and I look forward to all of your posts. Take care,
    xoxo

  6. Please take all the time you need to get back at it. I am still savoring Summer and I’m not even ready to see all the fall decorating on the blogs. Just love on those sweet boys and savor every minute with them. You need to give yourself time. And a casual type blog is fine with me!

  7. Andrea, your blog and social media is a true blessing to so many, sharing your beautiful home and family with all of us. You take your time, enjoy this special season of life. We’ll all still be here!

  8. Oh Andrea, you are such a sweet, beautiful, awesome mama! You cannot go wrong doing what God has called you to first…..being a wife and mother to your sweet young family! All the other jobs/callings in your life will fall in to place. You seem so very aware and careful to keep your priorities in place and God will certainly continue to bless your family as you do this. As a mom of three, now grown young men, it is a joy to follow you and see your handsome young sons! Brings back so many sweet memories of my children.

  9. Hi Andrea,
    Your heart will lead and everything else will fall into place. Enjoy all those precious moments as time seems to slip by so quickly. I’m sure there are many who wish they had those precious moments back just to be able to relive them again. Most importantly do what you love ❤️

  10. You do you so well. God’s light shines through the life and home you and your husband have created with your precious boys. Take one day at a time, and be the salt and light. Take no thought for tomorrow, for God knows the future and as long as you place it in His hands, every moment will be part of His beautiful plan for every hour of every day. You have brought such joy to those who read your blog, watch your videos, and are able to view such an authentic person. God bless you as you navigate each day.

  11. Dearest Andrea,
    Just came over from your vlog, thanking our Lord for the lovely godly wife and Momma you are.
    Being just two weeks post-op/postpartum, you still have more physical healing, recovery to do. Please give yourself time for that.
    Starting home schooling for your boys, caring for precious Isaiah and homemaking carry their own demands upon your energy. So for now, perhaps you may want or need to take a breather from your normal content that we all love. As for me, I love and enjoy everything you share, dearest young sister in the Lord.
    At six weeks post-op, you will be feeling far better physically. At six months you’ll be amazed that you rarely think of the surgery!
    In the meantime, please do not push a vacuum cleaner until you’re at that six week mark. Limit the trips on stairs and use that belly band faithfully, Sweetie pie. If it kind of bugs you at all, you can splint your abs with a pillow. I always folded a bed pillow in half to do that.
    Praying here for your continued recovery, while you enjoy this precious time with hubby and all your boys.
    God bless you and keep you in His perfect peace. Much love, Susan💖

    1. Thank you so much, I promise I am being careful and taking it day by day, I am so blessed to have my family close and my husband helps me as well. Thank you for your sweet and encouraging words!

  12. Oh, Andrea, this reminds me so much of my youngest daughter Rita, balancing her blog (fightingfrumpy.com) and raising four boys! Her fourth boy was also caesarean after having natural childbirth with the other three. Now her boys are 16, 14, 12 and 9, and she is an editor for scarymommy.com. and her writing has been translated into seven different languages.But she and her wonderful husband Curtis decided early on that they wouldn’t sacrifice their precious family life for either of their careers. You have to make the best decision for YOU and YOUR FAMILY and whatever that is, just know you can’t please everybody. Your life is going to get very busy and exciting in the next few years, and you’ll be blessed with happy, loving boys! Keeping you in my prayers! You’ve got this!

    1. That really does sound so similar! Congratulations to her and I am so happy to hear her boys are doing well. Thank you for your encouraging words and especially for your prayers, I appreciate them more than you know!

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